Wow,  I haven't updated this silly thing all semester.  I guess school has gotten in my way.....

Ok, that's a lie.  I've gotten in my way.  I have let some lasiness hit me quite a bit this semester.  My report card, and therefore my final transcript, will show it.  Oh well, not much I can do about it now.  Just got to buckle down and try to salvage wehat I can. 

It's hard though.  Laziness is a tough demon to fight.  It's like the whole, doing-what-you-do-not-want-to-do-and-not-doing-what-you-want-to-do thing.  I sit around, knowing what I need to be doing, and almost even wanting to do those things, but not being able to muster the...whatever it is to do that.  And I don't want to say drive, because I do have a drive to do it.  I want to do those things so I can better myself and so I can better prepare myself for my future.  That is plenty of drive.  And I have it.  I'm not an unpassionate, or is it impassionate?, guy.  I have some strong desires.  It's just that everytime I sit down to follow throughh on those desires, it seems like they can't hold my attention.  I'm not sure what it is.

It may be my long history with the television.  So many say that it rotts your brain.  I disagree, sort of.  I don't think it actually rotts your brain.  In fact I think it can have many beneficial uses towards the strengthening of your brain.  Developmental television, like Sesame Street, and whatever else is like that.  Many kids learn to talk with that.  Many foreign children learn english through shows like that.  Decent comedy can be difficult to follow and relate to many of the current world issues, causing those "driven" enough to seek out the information they do not know so that they can laugh more.  Plain dramas can teach the brain to follow a plot.  Any sort of activity is somewhat beneficial to the brain, or at least it can be argued that they are.  But what I think tv can do, or at least what it has done to me, is cause an addiction.  I sit down to do something, and I almost can't not turn on the television.  Which then distracts me.  Which then furthers my procrastination.

And that is what is happening now.  I should be reading.  I should be writing, which I am but not the thing that I should be writing, and I should be doing something other than this.  But, instead, I am sitting here, busying myself with Xanga, and watching some crappy movie with dogs and cats and they can talk and they fight each other and there is a scientist and his kid who always wants his attention but the scientist wants to do his research on allergies, and I dunno.  It's crazy.  But I can't stop.  And earlier, I watched a lot of some Disney channel show, about twins and a hotel and all theirs and their friends crazy antics and, yeah.  I also flipped back and forth from that to some college footbal, which allows me to keep my man card. 

But still, during all of that, I read a very difficult book.  Not as much as I needed to, but quite a bit.  So maybe I'm wrong about tv being bad for you.  Maybe it has taught me how to multitask.  Now all I need to do is lengthen the hours in a day, and I'm golden...

In my absence from Jenga I have been contemplating something.  My Christianity.
I have come to a conclusion, I must not be one...

I must not be one because I have discovered the things that apparently define a Christian, and I am none of those things.  I am no guitarist.  I am no singer.  I am no good at theatrical expression.  I am not especially good at any sport.  I have no crazy story of how I discovered Christianity.  I can't teach.  I just must not be a Christian.

So, I'm kidding.  I don't actually think this.  But I do believe some of us can get caught up in this sort of thinking.  And if not caught up, at least tempted enough to come close.  I know I have been.  I often feel inadequate.  I often feel low.  There's humility, which is good, and self deprecation which is unhealthy, and not of God.  God loves us.  He sent His son for us.  His son came down and spent 30+ years in the middle of the filthiness that is humanity, knowing what He came to do, and still did it.  He loves us even with the knowledge of the sins we have committed, and the ones we will commit.  Ephesians 2:10 says "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."  He doesn't care what we have done wrong, or what we will do wrong.  His love is unending.  We are His "workmanship."  He has things "prepared for us to do."  God is not ignorant.  He would not go through all of this for us if He didn't see something in us.  Something He put there.  And when we allow Satan to discourage us, we allow Him to delay our follow-through of the plans God has for us.  But that's just it.  They are only delayed.  God will not allow His children to fall away from His will.  He always brings us back.

Nothing is ever too good for us.  The blessings we receive, God wants us to have.  The trials we go through, He also wants us to have.  And He is there, loving us, through all of it.

So don't get down on yourself.  If you are, stop.  Tell that stinky ol' Devil to get gone!  Send him packin', and start listenin' to the one that loved you enough to die for you.  To sacrifice everything for you.  And to accept you into His kingdom of glory.  Get off your pitiful keaster, and do something for our Lord!

I AM A CHRISITIAN

YAY GO JESUS!!!

peace love and soul train
God Bless
eddie
Psalm 116:7

P.S.  If you know me, keep me in check on this.  We are a community! 

passionate racing

one track mind, alone, lacking

wanting, needing one

You are wonderful.  A delight in the Father's eye.  A bright spot in a world so black.  A skip in the heartbeat of creation.  A joy to all those around.  A loss for all those not around.  A smile on a face.  A grin in the back of a mind.  A laugh for a friend.  A comfort for a stranger.  A desire of the lost.  A thorn to the Evil One.

A Christian.

If you are reading this, and you are a Chrisitian, this is written to you.  This is written to us.  This is written for us.  This is written by Him, in our hearts.  If we believe in Christ, it should be obvious.  They, the Lost, should see His, our Lord, love. 

Make Him know you love Him.  Make Them know He loves Them.  Make the Devil regret you exist.

Change the world. 

peace, love, and soul train
God Bless
eddie
Psalm 116:7